Not a baby...

I wonder if any other parents have experienced what I am...and I'm sure you have...let me start with Winston first...

Soon after Winston had become a part of our lives 4 years ago, I stopped seeing him as a dog.  He was a part of the family, another member, with his own crazy personality.  Sometimes feeling that way about him works well to his advantage - we take him in the car, he gets ice cream at Handel's, he sleeps in our room, etc.  Sometimes, it bites him in the butt...I expect him to be on human level, so when he has an upset stomach and poops on the floor, I get more mad than I would if I was remembering him as a DOG.


Then we had Kate.  I admit, for the first couple months, I definitely had a baby.  She was so fragile, so cuddly, so "baby".  Now, when I look at her, I don't see a baby.  Yes, she's only 4.5 months old.  I KNOW (in my head) that she's just a baby, but when I see her, I see a person.  I see Kate.  She has such an amazing personality already.  She's SO happy, so playful, so full of joy...she's my little person, not just a baby.  Sometimes, that works to her (and my) advantage.  I talk with her like she is just another person in the room - no baby talk, just "Mom and me" conversation.  I include her in my daily tasks.  Sometimes, however, it works against us.  I don't understand why she sleeps great for 3 days and then everything goes haywire.  I get frustrated when she flails around when she's eating.  By seeing her as this "little person", I expect her to be more like me.  She's just a baby...and I need to remind myself that EVERY day...because she won't be for long.

This all came to me last night.  She has started to put herself on a schedule.  She really doesn't want to be awake much later than 8, sometimes 7:30.  She'll go down, and sleep about an hour or so, wake up and want to eat, but wants to go right back to sleep - almost like a middle-of-the-night (MOTN) feeding.  Last night, I sat rocking her at this "MOTN" feeding, and took so much joy in how still and peaceful she was.  Like she was when I first brought her home.  I love that.  Now I understand why some moms say they will miss those MOTN feedings.  It's such a peaceful, quiet, wonderful time with Kate, and I cherish it.  I know those times will soon be gone.  There's nothing else for me to do but be with her and take care of her.  I love those times - just me and my baby.

Today I will remind myself as she talks to me, rolls around, smiles, and giggles, that she is just a baby.  My baby.  And to quote that wonderful book, "as long as I'm living, my baby she'll be".