Pro-Love

Wow.  There is so much spewing all over social media.

I'm a Christian, and they're being attacked.

I'm opposed to so much happening from the White House right now, and those opinions are being attacked.

I'm pro...

Well, let's come back to that.

Let's start here.  I'm pro-love.  I had a light bulb go off this morning after reading quite a few things about what it means to be pro-life.  After reading about the Muslim ban.  After reading about one woman's experience at the March for Women in D.C. (read it here, but be ready to be challenged by it.)  I have since followed her FB page to open my eyes daily.  After reading about the division at the March, not inviting pro-life feminists.  After posting a blog about being a Christian feminist.  After reading something begging Christians to truly be pro-life.

Who am I?  Where do I stand?  Who do I stand with?  Do I have to have a group to belong to?

I am not a Republican.  I am not a Democrat.  I am what?

I am pro-love.

I believe that Jesus gave us two commandments that were greater than all.  And both centered completely around love.

{Matthew 22:36-40}“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

So if we view the world through this, no - if I view the world through this lens, what does that mean to me?  Where do I stand?

I believe that Jesus wanted us to love everyone, especially those who are turned away by others.  

“For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, A stranger and you gave me no welcome, naked and you gave me no clothing, ill and in prison, and you did not care for me. I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.’  {Matthew 25: 31-46}  

That means, to me, I can't support a Muslim ban.  I can't support cutting programs that take away from single moms.  I can't support the idea that someone is less worthy of programs, support, recognition, love, or rights, because of their race, because of who they love, because of who they choose to worship, because of their gender (whether they truly know it yet or not), because of the size of their family, because they are married or not, because they are poor, or because they are hungry.  

I believe in supporting life.  From conception to natural death.  

Some of you are going to stop reading here, but please listen.  I am not just anti-abortion.  I am pro-love and pro-LIFE.  I believe that a pregnancy is NEVER a sin.  I believe that baby has purpose and meaning to this world from the beginning of his/her life until it naturally ends.  

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." {Jeremiah 1:5}

This is where my story gets personal.  Many of you know we suffered 2 miscarriages in 2009.  I can tell you this is exactly when I became "pro-life".  (I put that in parentheses because it has taken on a whole meaning of its own these days).  Our first pregnancy, we kept pretty quiet.  We told our moms, a few friends and family, but we didn't share much.  Everyone we told was thrilled for us.  We had a baby on the way.  When we lost that baby, everyone grieved with us.  I shared our loss with Facebook, and was comforted by so many.  Our second pregnancy, I shouted it from the rooftops the moment we knew.  On Facebook the day we took the test. And again, celebration rang out for our baby who was joining our family.  And again, extreme grief when we lost yet another life.  

Many of you also know, my mom was given a choice back in 1981.  She was an "old" mother.  Very few women were having babies into their late 30s, and my mom was 41 when she gave birth to me.  It was pretty much unheard of.  She was told many things.  I would be born with a birth defect.  I would be born with Downs Syndrome.  I would likely die soon after birth.  She would likely die giving birth to me (other issues playing a factor there).  My mom chose life.  My mom chose me.  Without her choice, I wouldn't be here. Want to know what strikes me more?  Without her choice, Kate wouldn't be here.  Or Megan.  Or Damon.  That one choice would have taken out my chance to add to this world - and their chance to add to this world - and their children's chance.  

But my views have evolved and grown to much more.  I see being anti-abortion as a feminist stance.  WHOA.  What?  Yes.  I do.  I have started reading more about the movement of pro-life feminists.  You can read much more about it here - but the basic idea is that when a woman is put in a position to choose abortion, we have failed her as a society.  Why haven't we given her the support to make a different choice?  Why is she being forced down this road?  And making ourselves a culture that supports abortion takes a lot of responsibility off of men and makes their role insignificant.  There are really no risks of responsibility there.  No condom?  No problem.  She can take care of it.  

But my supporting life goes way beyond being anti-abortion.  

I believe that we need to make sure Welfare programs are supported properly and fully so that single mothers, single fathers, single grandparents - are given what they need - not only to survive, but to be given the chance to thrive.  I believe that we should be caring more about the poor and hungry.  Supporting programs to battle the never-ending struggle of world hunger.  

I believe that all children, regardless of their neighborhood, their "status", their home life - all children deserve the right to an excellent education.  

I believe that we need better health care.  I don't know what that means.  I don't know if we have the right programs or the right people to put them into place, but we need better health care.  We need health care that supports those battling terminal illnesses who are drowning - not only in the burden of their illness, but in debt.  Families who have no choices when they have sick kids.  Something has to change.

I believe women and men deserve equal respect in the workplace - meaning no tolerance for sexual harassment or less than equal pay.  I believe a woman has a right to walk down the street without worrying about being cat-called or attacked.

I believe we need to do more to battle the sex trafficking that is happening around this world.  It has to STOP.  I believe we don't pay enough attention. Maybe we don't know how.  

I believe that the death penalty is wrong.  I believe God is the only one who has enough Wisdom to judge, and I would never want the burden of that.  I believe that I sin more than many.  I believe that no one deserves to die because of their sin more than I do.  I'm just as bad as him or her.   And God chose me anyway.  He chose to give me life, and crazy enough, chose to give His Son's life, to save me.  

I believe we need to honor our elderly. I believe there are many places we send our elderly to "live" out the rest of their lives, and they are neglected.  They are abused.  They are forgotten.  We need to look more into our nursing homes and care facilities to make sure everyone is treated with the love and respect they deserve.  They have lived long lives, but that doesn't mean they need to end in a way that is disgraceful.  

I believe that those born with different abilities, disabilities, and birth defects, are incredible.  They are truly to be valued and cherished.  Those people have such amazing purpose in this world.  Can we really justify screening for disabilities and deciding to terminate those lives because it would be "too difficult"?  Really?

I believe that God is where love is.  I believe that LGBTQ families are beautiful.  I know that because God's love shines on them, too.  I believe they deserve to live lives without fear and with every right.  

I believe my God created the world, and gave us free will.  I believe that He loves us all, even those who don't choose to worship Him.  And I believe that means they have the right to be loved and respected, no matter who they choose to (or not to) worship. 

I believe being truly pro-life means being pro-love. Being pro-life means believing in life from conception all the way through - whether it's a "perfect" life, or whether it's messy, horrifying, trauma-filled, mental illness impacted, poor, hungry, black, white, gay, straight, transgender, elderly, or unborn.  

I believe we need to open our eyes, ears, and hearts to others. 

I recently blogged about my husband, who is a white male cop (you can read it here).  He and I have frequent conversations about his interactions, about racial tension, about what it means to understand institutionalized racism, about what a prejudiced cop looks like, and how we can be vigilant.  I know that there are people of color all over the world who have been targeted only because of the color of their skin.  I know it's wrong.  I believe it's wrong.  I believe it has to stop, and we start in our family.  We have these conversations so that Matt can take that to his work.  He can be a light to others.  I also believe that cops are targeted.  By criminals, by hate, by those who see them as "less than human" or who see them as trying to be "more than human".  They're just doing a job.  They don't write laws.  They are employed for the purpose of enforcing them.  When you see it that way, and take the laws themselves off their shoulders, it changes things.  Matt and I are a part of trying to change perspectives - trying to change the institutionalized racism that runs rampant through some police departments, and trying to change the perception of cops in our country.  Humanizing the badge. 

I know that you may read this and agree with everything I say.  I know you may read this and agree with none of this.  I know there will be some in-between.  But there is a lot I don't know. This is why I haven't spoken out much about the March for Women, and how I didn't feel like I was welcome there, because I don't support abortion, even though I consider myself a feminist.  This is why I didn't speak out about the March for Life, and how many of the women marching there share my views, but many also are so judgmental and un-Christian in the way they treat others.  Calling others murderers, sinners, and a wealth of other names, doesn't do anything to promote Jesus' love and does nothing to promote life.  It promotes hatred.  It's why I haven't shared who I voted for, and almost didn't today,  but (gulp), here we go. Who will judge me if I voted for Donald Trump?  (I didn't.)  But you would.  Because he's a racist and that makes me one, right?  Because he's a sexist and that makes me one, right?  Because he spreads hatred and that makes me full of hate, right?  I didn't vote for Donald Trump.  I could not stand the hate spewing from his mouth.  I couldn't stand the things he was known for when it came to women.  I couldn't imagine him being a representative of our country in this world.  I didn't vote for Donald Trump, but I know people who did.  And they deserve my love and respect, too.  I may vehemently disagree with their views, but they deserve as much love as I do.  Who will judge me if I voted for Hillary?  I didn't.  If I did, I don't support cops, right?  If I did, I am  pro-abortion, right?  I didn't vote for Hillary.  And not voting for her means I am a white privileged brat, right?  Guess what, guys.  I am white.  And I struggle with my privilege every day.  I fight to know more about my place in power - born into - and not earned - every day.  It's like a lottery ticket.  I didn't earn my white power and privilege, no more than a woman of color earned the discrimination she faces.  In this world - she lost, I won.  And it's not fair.  But not voting for Hillary didn't mean I am resting on my privilege.  Voting for Hillary means I'm against feminism, because she would have been our first woman president, right?  NO!  I am a feminist, through-and-through. I want the most for my daughters.  I wanted a president they could look up to, and to be honest, it was my choice, and I didn't see that in either of those two candidates.  I didn't vote for Hillary, but I know many who did.  And they deserve my love and respect, too.  I may vehemently disagree with some of the things they have to say, but they deserve as much love as I do.  I had to be able to walk out of that polling place and tell my children I was proud of my vote.  So I researched third party candidates and chose one I believed in.  And then I got on Facebook and saw how horrible I was.  It was my fault Donald Trump got elected.  Hold on.  Hold on.  But I purposefully chose NOT to vote for him.  How was that my fault???  If Hillary had one, that would have been my fault, too.  I couldn't win.  

Why can't we open our eyes, ears, and hearts to each other?  Why is it that we see hatred coming from a small few, and so we decide that the best way to battle that is more hatred?  To bash them back?  What does that solve?  I look at the list above.  The people suffering in this world who desperately need our love, our help, our money, our attention.  Why don't we take the time we are using to spread hatred about others and devote it to one of those causes that truly pulls at our hearts?  Why don't we try to spread love and make the world better?  Why don't we combat the hatred and see what love - real, unconditional love - can do for our world?  

In this scary, angry world, I choose to be pro-love.  It's the only thing that makes sense to me.